Maybe I Will

Right now, I’m trying to decide if I want to go for a walk. Not just a walk, walk… a really long uphill, downhill, across town walk. Like a workout walk.

But maybe I’ll go for a walk tomorrow.

Or maybe Sunday.

Or maybe not.

I’m sure you do the same thing: attempt to do something, but then put it off.

“But I have good reasons!”

Uh huh… yell all you want, catching up on your YouTube subs isn’t a good reason.

“It’s starting to get dark outside.”

Dude, it’s like, 5:30… it’s not going to get that dark in the next five minutes.

“Well, I have nowhere to walk to.”

Walk towards good health. Walk towards a Pokestop and then turn around and walk towards another one. Walk towards healthy habits that can save your life.

“Yeah, well, you’re missing the biggest thing of all!”

What…

“You’re a big old chicken who’s too scared of what other people think to put in the effort to do something you actually enjoy, and which could be beneficial to your mental and physical wellbeing, that may just increase your happiness and lead to bigger and better things.”

Umm… ok…

“Hey. You. Where are those BIG THINGS that are a’ coming? Hmm? Hmmmm? HMMMMMMMMM!?”

OK! You got me.

“Darn right I got you…”

There are things I want to do that I just won’t do, for one reason or another. My fears do a pretty good job of making sure that remains the case. But maybe I’ll change someday.

“You already did.”

What was That?

“I said you already Did. You changed once. You can do it again.”

When did I change?

“When you moved to Florida you walked wherever you wanted. You walked along the river, through the park, around downtown, and up and down the beach. Most of the time you were playing Pokémon Go! And you didn’t care what people thought of you there. You didn’t let other people bother you. You even managed to help locate a lost child and keep an older lady from jumping into the river. You even made it into the background of some YouTube guy’s livestream.”

Well, I guess…

“You didn’t care then, so why do you care now?”

Well…

“Yes?”

I didn’t know any of those people. There was virtually no chance I would run into someone I knew and have to explain to them that I’m playing a video game where you have to walk around and capture digital creatures to complete your collection. I didn’t have to worry about them telling other people I know. I didn’t have to worry about people thinking I’m weird, or alone, or a big loser.

“Ok. This is gonna hurt. But here it goes. (A) what makes you think the people you know are going to care what you’re doing anyway? (B) what makes you think they’re going to care enough to tell other people? and (C) what makes you think people spend so much time talking about you?!”

Ouch?

Darn right, ouch! No one cares what you’re doing. Half the people you know probably don’t even remember you. The other half are only thinking about you when they actually see you; and once you’re out of their sight, they go back to NOT thinking of you.”

Ouch.

“Get over yourself!”

So what you’re saying is: no one cares about me?

“Yes. WAIT! I mean, no, but kind of… yes. People care about you, but they just don’t think of you 24/7. Do you think of them 24/7?”

Who?

“Point! Please take it.”

Ok, ok. I get what you’re saying. But is that the reason I won’t go for a walk, or the reason you won’t let me go for a Walk?

“I don’t know. I’m just a random plot device you use occasionally to make a point.”

I see. Well, maybe I will go for a walk tomorrow. Or maybe I won’t. Either way, it will be my choice for my reasons. No one can make the choice for me. But also, no one should comment on my choices. They have no idea why I make the choices I do. I will also try to allow people to make their own choices. And when I’m walking down the street playing Pokémon Go, and I see someone in a unitard singing musical numbers while chasing squirrels in the park, I will just smile and keep walking.

“That was a little too after school special, but whatever. Can I go now? I have to get to the park.”

Yes you can, plot device.

Yes you can.

-Diggs out

P.S. – what the heck just happened?!

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