Sarcasm Needs to Die

Sarcasm is bad.

Sarcasm is toxic.

Sarcasm is not funny.

What’s that? You say that sarcasm IS funny? You say that being facetious isn’t funny, but sarcasm CAN be funny?

Well, you’re wrong.

I’ll bet you can’t think of a time when you actually laughed at someone’s sarcasm. Go ahead, I’ll give you some time to think.

*elevator music plays in the background while your biased mind thinks of times you believe you laughed at someone’s sarcasm… is this Hotel California? I love that song!*

So all those times you thought of, where you totally laughed at this funny dude’s sarcasm… Were you really laughing at the person who made the sarcastic comment?

No.

You didn’t laugh at the sarcasm. You laughed at the person who was taking the brunt of the sarcasm. You laughed at another person’s expense because someone made a sarcastic comment.

Think about a movie where the protagonist has a sidekick. This sidekick isn’t the sharpest sheep in the light bulb drawer. The protagonist commands the troops to move out. And the sidekick replies, “you want us to duck in the shadows, boss?”

To which the protagonist replies,

“No, I want you to do a number from the hit Broadway musical Cats right in the middle of the enemy base OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO DUCK IN THE SHADOWS!”

Ha ha, right?

But who are you really laughing at? Are you laughing because the protagonist is a funny person who knows how to quip with other people? Or are you laughing at how stupid the sidekick is?

You’re laughing at the sidekick.

Now, I’m not going to call you a total liar, because, honestly, people tell jokes all the time. Sometime’s they tell other people’s jokes, or jokes they found on the internet. Sometimes they just repeat lines verbatim from the newest laugh-fest in theaters. And many of these jokes make fun of someone. They use deprecation as a punch line. And I’m not saying that a joke like this can’t be funny. Make all the jokes you want about Trump. I’d prefer you made them about Hillary, but I know Trump has a yuge problem when it comes to being, you know, human. And some of those jokes are funny. But, when that’s your only shtick it gets old.

Or you become a very famous insult comic who one day makes the wrong joke and gets blacklisted from every venue on the planet living a sad life only to one day die alone with just your house plant to make fun of.

And this is what’s wrong with sarcasm.

If you speak with sarcasm you’re probably using it against someone. This in turn makes people not like you as much. Sure, the things you say might make people laugh (at other peoples’ expense) but once you use your sarcastic powers on someone who was previously laughing… goodbye. Sarcasm pushes you away from other people.

Why would you purposely ask a question of someone who might make a joke instead of answering the question?

Why would you talk to someone who has a 50/50 chance of making fun of you?

The only person who gets anything out of the sarcastic comments you make is yourself. You use sarcasm to make yourself feel better about your own downfalls. You use sarcasm to shift blame to other people. You use sarcasm as a way to point out how much smarter you are than everyone else, or how much more common sense you have. But the worst part?

You’re actually funny.

🤔

However, you’re never sure just who likes you and who likes your sarcasm. Because, here’s another thing about sarcasm: people like it… as long as it’s not at their expense. Sarcasm is at least half of all our comedy in sitcoms (with the rest being the situations, hence the name sit-com: situational comedy). Sarcasm is funny. It is easy. And it has multiple levels ranging from “ha ha, j/k, love ya” all the way to “I can’t directly insult you so I’ll do the next best thing and be sarcastic but I hate you.”

And let’s face it, YOU are not sarcasm. You are a complex individual. Do you really want people to remember you as the sarcastic one? Or would you rather people remember you as the nice one, the kind one, the genuinely funny one, the soccer player, the camping enthusiast, the stamp collector, or anything other than “the guy who made all the sarcastic comments all the time.” How can people even get to know you when all you do is joke?

Another thing about sarcasm is how it is used as a joke. When you’re nervous, you joke. When you’re angry, you joke. When you’re happy but don’t want anyone to know just how happy you are because whatever it’s cool and all but seriously who goes that crazy for something so mundane and ordinary, you joke. There are sarcastic comments used as jokes to hide your true feelings. Probably so you don’t have to have an actual conversation with someone and risk developing a *gasp* relationship with another human being!

Which some people find terrifying.

But the worst part of all is that sarcasm can become entwined not only in your speech but also your thinking. You begin to think of the irony of situations. You begin to think of alternatives. You begin to actively think up crafty comebacks. You are always trying to stay ahead in the conversation. And this pulls you out of the moment. You’re not experiencing life, you’re preparing possible reactions to life. All so you can be quippy. And once it becomes entwined with your thinking process it’s hard to de-twine it. Sarcasm robs you of genuineness. You’re a slave to it.

Or maybe that’s just me.

-Diggs out

P.S. – I have to stop writing posts that begin by saying “nope! You’re wrong! I’m right!” People could get the wrong impression.

One thought on “Sarcasm Needs to Die

  1. Sarcasm is MY thing, dude… What’s the point in being someone’s subconscious if nobody listens to me!

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