I’m calling it “Marvel At Us.”
The first episode is a special edition of a clip show, similar to Tosh.0 and other clip shows. This episode is all about superhero clips. A host goes through people’s phone cam footage of super heroes trashing things or getting their butts whooped by the bag guy. It’s all played for humor, just like a real clip show. It is set in the MCU. But to us, the audience of the Disney+ show, we get to see how regular people saw events and interacted with these super heroes outside of the context of the MCU movies. Either way, it will be interesting and fun. Show would be good at CinemaSins…
Another clip show, but more akin to the “Worlds Dummest” series. We would get B-list actors to comment on different video clips, but this time only focused on Tony Stark/Iron Man. The guest stars would make fun of Tony, make jokes about the things that happened, and even have a little segment where the cast “gives advice” to the people in the videos on how to avoid having your stuff smashed by a lunatic in a metal onesie.
This episode begins with a talk show host giving an opening monolog, similar to Conan O’Brien. The monolog focuses on the latest big superhero damage issue.
Then a commercial selling insurance to protect people from loss due to damage by super heroes.
When we come back the show has changed and is now a talk show similar to Ellen. The host has a segment where she has a lawyer/claims adjuster/damage repair professional. She gives him crazy scenarios as if they’re fake and asks what the damage would be and how much that would cost. Then, after some humorous banter he gives his answer. But then the host plays actual footage of a superhero doing that exact thing to someone’s house/car/school/business/etc. They do about 5 rounds of this and then go to commercial.
We then get medical lawyer commercial of the “were you injured by a so-called ‘hero'” genre. Call the number today…
As we return to the show we come into a sketch comedy, similar to Saturday Night Live. They put on a skit where a superhero “saves the day” but while fighting the bad guy he breaks things, damages houses and vehicles, and injures people in different ways. The police show up and take the bad guy. As he’s going to fly off the people around ask him who’s going to pay for and take care of all the damage and injuries? As they (humorously) point these things out the police start to agree with them and the superhero is arrested. The crowd cheers a bit too enthusiastically…
A commercial for ThorGard! A special lightning rod to protect your house or business from Thor’s lightning bolts, should one stray your direction. “Protect your realm from his.”
We return to a stand up comic special. He begins with “before I go…” and then makes some humorous comments and jokes about superheros. He makes some good points and the crowd, busting out laughing, also gives a standing ovation. Smirking he says, “am I right?” Obviously the comic thinks these superheros are mostly jerks, and while they may save some people they ultimately seem to do more harm than good. He finishes with “thats my time, thanks for coming to my first special!” Thunderous applause.
The credits roll as usual for that type of show except its the credits for the Disney+ show. At the end, one more commercial.
“Are you tired of scraping spiderwebs off your car? Paying too much to have them removed from your building? Is your facade being pulled apart, costing you thousands? Try SpiderMonkey!” Its an ad for a compound to spray or wipe onto surfaces to keep Spiderman’s webbing from sticking to it… and as the ad plays we start to back away from a TV screen. A figure gets up from a lounge chair, shakes their head, rubs their neck, huffs, and then quickly walks off screen as if with a purpose. Ad over. Cut to black.
We join the news as yet another incident has occurred, leaving hundreds without power, and many homeless. This comes just weeks after a previous incident which almost leveled an entire city block.
As they pass off to weather we pull back to see a TV from another room in the house, presumably the kitchen. As the weather-man makes a joke about clear skies “unless Thor wants to tour the local pubs”, a person whose face we do not see gets some food packed and drinks some coffee.
We jump to the person reading the news on a tablet device. Two other people are Independently talking about that incident, again involving the damage or carelessness of a superhero.
While at work, in a meeting, a figure flies by the office building, pursued by a spandex clad hero. They exchange some laser blasts and fly through the offices a few floors up. The building is evacuated.
As the person drives home they listen to the radio. A talk show. The three hosts are exchanging views about whether having these super heroes is a good thing… do they invite the villains, or did the villains create the heroes… can local law enforcement really manage such threats… could another multinational organization like SHIELD really be trusted…? As the person pulls into his driveway they are wrapping up the show. He parks, and listens. “We just need to come to terms with the fact that these super powered persons are here to stay and there’s nothing anyone can really do about it.” At that conclusion the person begins to beat on his steering wheel, raging with some pent up anger, and when he’s done he sits his head on the steering wheel and cries.
Its the next day and we get glimpses of the latest incident from TV, radio, and passers-by. The person gets to his office building to find the elevators are out. The building manager is arguing with a tenant about whether he should get Super Hero Insurance. The person begins to open the door to his floor when he stops. He slowly backs up and walks up the stairs a few more flights. He opens the door to the floor that was damaged yesterday. Some construction workers are going on break. As they do the person walks into the chaos. Personal items and office supplies litter the floor. He finds blood stains on the carpet. He sees a heavy desk turned upside down sitting on some rubble… the rubble has feet… thats a person. He then walks towards the window the two enemies burst through just the day before. He passes the caution tape and steps towards the edge. He looks out across the city. A beautiful sight. He stretches his arms out sideways. He leans forward. Falling to the ground we get the first look at his face – just his mouth. He smiles contently.
With a THWIP and bounce the person comes to a stop just a few yards from the pavement. He is lowered to the ground and in front of him lands Spiderman.
“Hey. Hey mister, are you ok? I saw you fall and I dashed over as quickly as I could- whew that was scary! Are you alright?”
The man is speechless, but thats ok. The crowd of people around him cheer and thank Spiderman on his behalf.
The man raises his hand slowly, reaching for Spiderman’s shoulder. Spiderman suddenly squints and looks over his shoulder as he steps forward.
“Hey mister… are you ok?”
The man pulls back his hand and then extends it as a handshake. Spiderman shakes his hand and people snap photos and take videos.
We watch one of the videos taken by a member of the crowd. Our first shows host chimes in with “and there’s the silver lining folks. A good deed by a friendly neighbor. See ya next time.”
Kids at school are looking at superhero compilations. Some of them are awesome feats of strength and agility. Others are clips of property being destroyed. Theres even some funny clips, mostly of Spiderman being goofy or Thor being clueless.
A teenager points out that these “awesome” videos of Thor shooting lightning, Iron Man flying through a wall, or Hulk smashing things has not only cost people millions of dollars in damages, but it even cost some innocent people their lives. But he’s just a nerd, so no one cares what he thinks.
“Wouldn’t you rather have the super strength to throw a car across the river than the super dorkness to repel girls?”
They all snicker and laugh at his expense.
On the way home he decides to take a detour. He catches the subway to the other side of town just to grab a bite to eat at his favorite shop. Of course, they have the news on. And of course, some hero saved the day, while probably causing tons of damage that no one will have to pay for.
A customer sitting at the counter makes a comment, and another customer chimes in.
“That’s right! Without these brave men doin their part, steppin up, we’d be in worse shape.”
As the teen huffs a snort of derision, he realizes the man at the booth in front of did the same thing… they look at one another, exchanging a glance only understood as “I know exactly what you mean.”
The man and the teen get to talking about how messed up it is we joke and laugh and praise these so-called heroes who destroy and kill all in the name of peace and justice. Then the teen starts talking big numbers. These aren’t off the cuff calculations. He’s memorized statistics the man didn’t know anyone kept track of. The man chimes in that theres nothing they can do, and its infuriating. However, the teen isn’t so sure… theres probably SOMETHING they can do… it just depends on how far they’re willing to go. He begins to layout all the facts they know about all these superheroes. He points out that many of them actually have weaknesses. And as he’s getting ready to delve into a deep, thought out plan his phone rings. It’s his mom. She’s wondering where he is. She sounds mad. So, the teen asks for the man’s phone, then taps his phone to it. Contact information transfers to the man’s phone.
“Keep in touch.”
The next day, the man is headed to work. He stops for a latte before walking into his office building. Just a few days before there was a skirmish and some “hero” crashed into the floor below his. His desk fell through the floor. Hope it didn’t hurt anyone. They’ve been allowed to come back, if they want. But most are working from home.
“Hey, let’s stay away from 22 today, huh?!”
A lady calls out and laughs. The man turns around to see a guy hanging his head walking towards the elevators.
He is ignored. But at least the elevators are working. Well…
“Well shoot. Guess we’re going to be late for work.”
The man chuckles. But this person does not.
“Where’s a superhero when you need one, am I right?”
And at that this person begins a long rant about how we don’t need superheroes and about how they ruin everything and how he wishes they would all just go away!
“We shouldn’t have to put up with… with… they’re shit!”
The man reaches into his pocket. He pulls out his phone. He brings up his contacts and right there under “new” is that teens information.
“Maybe we don’t have to…”
The teen runs down the stairs with some pizza rolls. He tosses one into his mouth. It’s too hot! He breathes fast to try and cool it off. His mom yells at him, “don’t stay up too late with your ‘inventions.’ I’d like it if you got to school on time for once.”
With a sigh the teen closes his door. He puts on some music and downs an energy drink. After popping a few more pizza rolls his computers all finish booting up. He then runs to his door and locks it. He runs back to one of his computers and brings up camera feeds from inside and around his house. On another computer he runs a program called NORT. He checks his phone. No reception. He sits down at a work bench in the middle of the room. He pulls back a blanket revealing a strange piece of technology inside a wire cage. Part of it glows. Another part makes a humming noise. He slowly removes the metal cage…
“Ok… let’s see how useful you are…”
And thats how far I’ve gotten. I started to build a lore too deep that I took it from parody that turns real, into parody that turns real, and then involves specific characters with goals and a motive… wouldn’t it be cool if Marvel bought my idea from me?!
That is, if they haven’t already done this exact thing in the comics already…
P.S. – I hate when I really get into a story, because I have such a hard time jotting down plots points instead of writing every detail I can think of. Maybe I should write a book. Perhaps about a guy who wants to write a book but it’s so full of information that it starts to run thousands of pages long and that’s without double spacing and…